Fifty-one of one-hundred-thirty pieces are in place. I should be happy, I know, but it's a drop in the bucket. It feels like a drop in the bucket.
I really want to move on to the next row.
I really want to be working with the coming new color-ways - the tortured texture of the skin and the lovely soft tones of the background.
I need to be away from the yellows and oranges which have consumed so much time and effort. The yellows and oranges that have become muddied and greened; smudged and grotesque. It too closely resembles an emotional state for me. Somehow it mimics a mental reflection of loss - mostly from this summer, but also of my life over the past several years. I want to run from it.
Run and run and never look back.
But, I know if I walk away from this block for the time being and focus on a new start, I will find it even harder to return at a later date to finish; to drive the final nail into its 'coffin'. Somehow, I need to find more pleasure in the completion than pain in slogging through it.
Fifty-one down, seventy-nine to go. Happy thoughts from any of you would be greatly appreciated.
Sunday, October 4, 2015
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